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The Roastery: Luna Cafe - Stout Blend

Luna Cafe Stout Blend:

Total Score: 39/44 = 8.8/10

Packaging: 18 points

Grounds: 7 points

Brew: 3 Points

Color: 2 points

Flavor: 3 points

Reseal: 3 points

Shelf space: 3 Points

Is a bird in the hand worth 2 in the bush? I don’t know. Is coffee with the backbone of beer the most outrageous thing ever executed? Like are you kidding me? My two favorite drinks! Heck to the flavor, the idea of this coffee already makes it a 10/10 and we don't even need to open the packaging.

I could rate every large name brand coffee the world has to offer and I promise it won’t steal my eyes from the shelf the way this one stole my heart. Coffee. A stout. A stout and coffee! I figured I’d receive some fun coffee from my readers, but after only 3 weeks, this one will be a hard brew to beat.

This week's coffee comes from my hometown De Pere, WI. The ever so high quality Luna Cafe ( I knew in highschool it was someplace special and I know it now more than ever seeing as they took it upon themselves to put Hinterland Brewery into the mix. Starbucks wouldn’t have the beans to play Luna’s ball game. And you know what they say… where there’s coffee drinkers, there's bound to be beer drinkers… or something along those lines.

Welcome back to The Roastery. Let’s brew coffee. Luna Cafe’s Stout Blend…. Man oh man.

*coffee can reach a maximum point possibility of 44 points*

Phase 1: Packaging

Size: (3 pt.)

16 oz. Fitting that it would be a pint considering the nature of the brew. I'm going to be honest I’ve never seen coffee packaged like this. It’s like a thick manilla envelope. It feels like you're holding a fat stack of cash in your hand. It’s about 8.5x11” sized packaging with the width of around 2.5 inches. It might be the most satisfying packaging thus far. It comes in a thick brown paper packaging. Seems pretty tough. I wouldn't be too worried about puncture wounds, but again water is always a factor. Probably better off transferring this into a tupperware if you travel. And then again this isn't your travel coffee. For sure shouldn't be shared. Great size. Heavy in weight in the hand. 3/3 although it could be bigger.

Texture: (3 pt.)

We already accidentally touched on how it feels in the hand but how could I not. This packaging makes a statement. Firm, heavy, and shaped for the rich. Some downfalls in the material used, but any other material used changes the structure and shape, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm giving this a 3/3.

The freshness seal: (3 pt.)

This thing is vacuum packed and then resealed even over that. Not a common occurrence in most paper packaging. Leave it on the shelf… freshness isn’t going anywhere. 3/3

Weight: How dense the packaging is. (3 pt.)

Again. I have to give it to this coffee. Tightly packed. Firm enough to know you’re holding something but loose enough to feel like you're in control of what happens next. There's not a lot of coffees that control this in their packaging. Luna hits. 3/3

The ease of openness: (3 pt.)

A perfect rip across the top uncovering a very strong but forgiving zip lock seal made opening this a 2 step process. Honestly easier than the Folgers. Step 1. RIP Step 2. PULL. Open the coffee and enjoy the scent. No mess. No problem. So easy. A caveman could do it. 3/3

And of course… the design: (3 pt.)

I didn’t think I was going to do this but I have no choice. The coffee has a perfect score on packaging. The design of this coffee is perfect. Simply perfect. Yellow to catch your attention. Bold lettering to tell you it’s related to beer. A BEER GLASS to really hit home that you’re getting what you pay for, and on top of that a HECKIN STAMP that says “ground” like it came out of the most industrial and down home coffee shop you’ve ever been in. Signed, sealed, delivered. This coffee packaging makes me happy. All there is to it. 3/3

Phase 2: Grounds

I don’t know if the grounds really matter, but let's pretend they do. AND IF THEY DO... they should be tested on these 3 attributes:

Smell: Is it nice? (3 pt.)

Have you ever walked into a Barns & Noble and immediately felt your mind go numb from the perfect mixture of books and coffee? Welcome to the stout blend from Luna Cafe. This could be a cologne, and it SHOULD BE. Smells are everything and so is this blend 3/3

Texture / Size: Is it coarse? Or fine? I prefer fine. (3 pt.)

Finally an imperfect score. You, as well as I, have been waiting to see when they would slip up. It’s a human error which honestly doesn't deteriorate the coffee. But it does show that imperfections exist everywhere. Although part of the grounds are powder. There also exist some which are not. In this case…. A perfectly and poetically deserved ⅔.

Scoopability: How much coffee stays heaped in my version of the “tablespoon” (3 pt.)

If the sherpas wanted a new hobby they could come climb the mountain that lives on my tablespoon. Seriously. I’m ridiculously impressed. HOWEVER, you walk into the same issues here as you do the Roy’s bakery Black and Tan. With a paper bag comes a few downfalls! The seal here is nice but the top hole is tight, and it for sure won't stand up to the test of time as you reach the bottom of the bag. Although the grounds build a HEAPING tablespoon, the packaging can put a damper on that experience. ⅔. Huge potential...stifled by design.

Phase 3: The Brew Does it fill the room with a pleasant scent? Then just rank it. (3 pt.)

Look folks. There isn’t much better than the aural experience of a cheap drip machine. But the only thing that could top this might be the smell of this coffee. Is it “perfect”? No. Is it exactly what I want? Sure is. There must be better because if there wasnt… why live anymore? But this… this is damn good. 3/3. Fills the room and makes my day.

Phase 4: Color (3 pt.)

Golden rule of coffee color = Pantone #2322c

When you get a stout coffee. You get a stout color. This baby brews DARK. Which is FINE!! For the functionality. I hate to take points here, but you can't drink this all day. This is the stout of coffees. I drank stouts all day ONE time.. At the KBC. The same day I decided I would get into marketing! I was not sober when I decided I was getting into marketing… Shows for a lot. A great coffee… but maybe for only 2 cups. ⅔

Phase 5: Flavor (5 pt.)

This is a good coffee. This is a ⅗ point coffee. No less. No more. This coffee is better than your daily driver. It deserves to be shown to guests, or spice up a sunday morning. ABSOLUTELY have it after dinner with desert and PLEASE for the love of GOD drink it if you’re sad. But this coffee isn’t a brag. It’s a novelty. It would be nice to drink it every day but no one has that kind of cash! If you drink this and enjoy it... the best outcome is that it encourages you to try others like it… not give this one shelf equity.

A beautiful coffee. Better than your daily driver. But it’s a novelty. Not a piece of art. ⅗.

Phase 6: The Reseal (3 pt.)

There’s not much more you can ask for from a reseal here. Folgers was obviously above and beyond with the aroma seal. That was ridiculous. But you can’t get that by having unique packaging. The Stout blend is perfect. Instills you with confidence it will be there tomorrow and if it gets knocked over you're scotch free. 3/3

Phase 7 (Last and possibly least) : Shelf Space (3 pt.)

Where do you want to put it? Put it there. Desk drawer, purse, backpack, between items in the cupboard? WHEREVER. It’s versatile. Tall and skinny. Can stand up, live on its back, sneak it tight corners. Wherever you put it.. It won't be in the way. As you drink you roll the pack down to get it more and more compact. It adapts as you go. 3/3

Top Coffee of all time (so far): Luna Cafe Stout Blend

Packaging: Luna Cafe Stout Blend

Grounds: Luna Cafe Stout Blend

Brew: Roy's Bakery Black and Tan

Color: Folgers Black silk

Flavor: Luna Cafe Stout Blend

Reseal: Folgers Black Silk

Shelf space: Luna Cafe Stout Blend

Past Roasts

  • Roy’s Bakery Black and Tan = 7.4

  • Folgers Black Silk = 6.8

  • Luna Cafe Stout Blend = 8.8

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